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The Impunitary Executive
In 2024 the richest man in the world stepped up to save America from itself. He bought an election. With his intervention, our President won a sweeping 1.5% victory and led MAGA to control of Congress. In the 631 days since this election, our lives have changed in important and marvelous ways. Gone are many…
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HAHA (Hallelujah! America’s Healthy Again!)
90 weeks ago the richest man in the world bought us a President. Can you believe what they’ve accomplished already? Since that providential election America has cast off much of what made it weak and unworthy. I’ve written weekly about many of Elonica’s improvements. Regrettably, because there is so much to celebrate, I’ve neglected one…
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From Requiem to Ode
I’m using the woke education I got at a couple of those suspicious DEI universities and waxing poetic this week. Buckle up for some choppy iambic pentameter and a Shakespearean rhyme scheme: That was then: This is now: OK, so I’m not The Bard, or any bard at all. But the great news is that…
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Commusocialfascism (Covfefe)
I trust everyone enjoyed celebrations on Independence Day. 250 years! Thankfully we have a President who knows how to bring a fractured nation together. Who else could have executed a MAGA rally on the mall replete with well-organized weather evacuation plans? Envisioned a Great American State Fair attended by dozens daily? Had state TV Fox…
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“Change the Voters, Change the Country”
Sometimes I hear my liberal friends trash talk the President’s meritocracy. They call Hegseth a “DUI hire.” They talk about Kennedy’s history with dead animals and toilet-seat heroin. Noem shot her puppy. Rubio clops around in enormous Florscheim shoes. Blanche professes his love aloud. Everyone competes to kiss the President’s ass more robustly than anyone…
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Pool Party
I guess it was bound to happen. ANTIFA – diabolical, highly organized terrorist organization that it is – got to the Reflecting Pool. Using a boxcutter or other lethal weapon and avoiding capture by the many security cameras or National Guard patrols, vandals have desecrated the American-flag-blue renovation. Think about the depth and planning of…
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Celebrate Good Times
What an Elonican week we’ve had! It’s all happening, just as the richest man in the world and the president he purchased for us promised. We are the hottest country in the world with the best economy, the most lethal military, and a leaner, more effective government. America is healthy again, Christian again, and respected…