I think it’s safe to say that we got more than we hoped for when the richest man in the world heard our plaintive cries and bought us a president. As promised, we have already achieved a new status in the world after years as the international patsy that everyone used and abused. Under strong and steady leadership, our country is calm and unified and focused on celebrations for our 250th anniversary. The President, his family, his friends, and the billionaires who grease the wheels are at last making enough money to fund the trickle down that will flow to us. With regulations gone, illegals disposed of, diseases cured, and meritocracy instead of DEI the order of the day, Reagan’s vision of the prosperous shining city on a hill is at last within reach. It’s our Golden Age.
Yes, after Davos, we are respected again. Trusted internationally. This feat is glorious and worth celebrating. But I worry that all of this international attention might be distracting from the many positive changes in our culture. Elonica is better. Stronger. We are actually tripping over our general welfare and domestic tranquility. After our collective fumbling around aspiring to a more perfect union for 249 years, how did our Leaders manage to bring us this close to utopia in just one?
Meritocracy. That’s how. Putting the best people in the right positions of power. Separating the chaff from the grain. The process of winnowing out all of the DEI hires has been a necessary, though painful, process. For example, so many women, especially women of color, had been unfairly promoted to positions that they simply could not handle. This impacted not only our success as a nation, but also interfered with the essential Christian role of women to produce and raise as many babies as possible. (White women in particular must ramp up reproduction to maintain our God-given majority.) When our President stopped hiring or promoting people because they were women, appropriate balance was restored. Proof: our President has nominated 493 meritorious candidates to various offices. 419 (85%) men. 74 (15%) women. Notice how much more efficiently our government is working now?
Those who would spread bogus theories that strong women are not welcome in this administration, that the President does not respect women, are just tilting at windmills. Exceptional women – like exceptional men such as Stephen Miller and Kash Patel and Pete Hegseth – fill many important roles in Trump II. Let me show you:
Alluring Exotic Women
Many in the Radical Left try to paint our President and those around him as racist. Piff and piddle. His cadre of multicultural women is as sensuous as any in the world as they Make America Great Again.
Melania is a vision of beauty. Enough said.
Usha Vance, JD’s wife, is pregnant!
Tulsi Gabbard, Director of National Intelligence, will prove once and for all that President Trump won the 2020 election. We owe him $22.5 billion in back pay and damages for reputational and emotional distress.
Harmeet Dhillon, Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights, is a staunch supporter of the absolute immunity of ICE and the Border Patrol, ensuring that their rights are never impeded.
Bombastic Blonde Women
Archetypal MAGA women, these dynamos are proving that females inspired by God are fully capable of carrying Daddy’s water.
Attorney General Pam Bondi is ensuring that justice works for all true patriotic Elonicans, making “lawfare” is a thing of the past.
Karolyn Leavitt’s devotion to Jesus compels her, as Press Secretary, to tell the truth no matter how painful for the administration.
Tricia McLaughlin, Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs, is the stalwart voice of truth regarding bogus claims about ICE.
Erika Kirk, widow of Charlie Kirk, will carry on the work of his Turning Point USA to ensure that young people find Jesus and thus Trump.
Brusque Brunette Women
These auburn chicks are a diverse group of women united in their support for our President. Enjoy their antics as they seek to top each other in their efforts to reach and remain in the coveted inner circle.
Kristi Noem shot a disobedient puppy to prove her readiness for Secretary of Homeland Security.
Lauren Boebert, a patron of children’s theater, loved the President enough to switch districts to ensure her election to serve him.
Brooke Rollins, Agriculture Secretary, is redefining meal planning as a means of supporting the President’s tariff economy.
Nancy Mace brings truth, grace and manners to her role as Presidential water carrier.
Motherly Mavens
While our President prefers the company of younger, attractive women – a pattern established early in his Epstein days with very young women indeed – he recognizes that the company of those who’ve been around the block can be helpful.
Susie Wiles, White House Chief of Staff, ensures that the President is surrounded by people who speak truth to power.
Linda McMahon, Secretary, prepared herself for dismantling the Department of Education by bringing the WWE to life.
Senator Susan Collins of Maine can be counted upon to be concerned about policies before voting for them, demonstrating that this administration is open to alternate viewpoints.
South Carolina Senator Lindsay Graham surpasses all others in modeling feminine strength: once he makes a statement, he sticks by it, come what may.
There. You’ve seen the evidence. Don’t let the libs get away with terms like racism or sexism or misogyny or 1950s or Father Knows Best. In the Elonica of 2026, exceptional people of the two official genders are encouraged to contribute. After all, we need women to “walk in beauty” as adornments in our Golden Age.
For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
1 CORINTHIANS 11:8-9
