It has taken America 249 years to reach its Golden Age. 249 years of waiting for the right kind of leadership, the right set of priorities, the right ways to define patriotism and citizenship. Notice that our greatness turns on the word “right.” Not left. Right. Full on right. No holds barred right. We tried going left – and ended up in a woke, DEI dystopian parody of a democracy. Biden was the final embarrassment. Our prayers for redemption were finally answered in the landslide 1.5% victory of our Muppet President and The Leader who purchased him for us. On November 5, 2024, Elonica – our Golden Age – was born.
A Golden Age requires a special kind of leadership. The trappings of democracy (due process, rule of law, compromise, peaceful transfer of power) are pleasant, and perhaps good enough for a weak country like America, but they won’t deliver the kind of strength a country as great as Elonica requires. We deserve muscular leadership delivered by men who know what they want and are dauntless in going after it. In the tradition of more successful democracies like Venezuela and Hungary, Elonica is committed to all stick and no carrot – no Rooseveltian speaking softly for us, but rather resolute men with big sticks eager to describe and use them whenever opportunity presents itself.
Right out of the gate, DOGE set the example. There are many ways to shrink the size of government bureaucracy. Having workers show up and find that their badges no longer allow them to enter their workplace, or having security escort them from buildings with no notice, demonstrates the kind of justice that bloodsucking liberal bureaucrats deserve. Impotent, tens of thousands of government workers ended up on the street, where they belong. And with them went the leftist liberal myth of “soft power,” as if that’s any kind of power at all. Strong nations like Elonica don’t fund efforts like AIDS prevention or food assistance in no-count continents like Africa. Real power is never soft. Elonicans deserve a return on their investments. It’s a dog eat dog world – and we are the biggest dog of all. The days of benevolence without tangible profit are gone.
DOGE set the stage. Move fast and break things. Fire anyone who might get in the way. Declare DEI a scourge and replace anyone hired because of it with the most qualified person. There are Pete Hegseths and Dan Bonginos and Kristy Noems and Emil Boves across the country who deserve a chance to shine in our Elonican meritocracy. Insult and threaten anyone who disagrees with you. Talk big, drop bombs, send the military to the border. Do whatever it takes to make money, lots of money, so that those destined to rule by virtue of their wealth can facilitate the trickle down that the Elonican people deserve.
We are counting on the President purchased for us to bully his way into respect for the power of the new Elonican state. We tried immigration the nice way and were overrun with criminals and gangs. Thank God for teams of masked and armed men in unmarked vehicles snatching up gardeners and farmers and restaurant workers and nannies as ICE drills its way down to the hordes of gangbangers and rapists hiding among the brown people. It’s time to lock up as many such interlopers as we can in anticipation of mailing them to foreign countries where they can be forgotten. Once it’s us – just us, who deserve to live and prosper in Elonica – we can achieve our destiny. We require a president who will use muscle in lieu of diplomacy to establish our new relationships with a weak world that has grown accustomed to taking advantage of us. We need Putin to finish his work in Ukraine (we’ve given him between two weeks and 50 days) and Netanyahu to reshape the Middle East (he’s attacking as many countries as possible). We must give our President all the tools necessary to be the strongest man in a world ruled by strongmen. Thank God our Congress and Supreme Court recognize that Elonica requires an unbounded executive and are delivering everything he demands.
It’s ironic that our President, manly fellow that he is, looks more like a carrot than a stick. But there is no denying that he is the bully we need. It’s so very thrilling as a citizen to watch him seek out and exploit weakness wherever he can. I sometimes find myself wondering about his early life. What experiences helped mold him into such a stalwart, moral leader? I found this clip based on his childhood. Notice his early love of orange and the emergence of his ally Mike Johnson to help him work his will:
Of course, as a true man among men, the President knows that he can accomplish only so much working alone. After all, a bully is only as effective as his followers allow him to be. I also discovered a secret tape of key members of his administration learning their trade in college. Notice – among the ceremonially hooded – Steven Miller and JD Vance, clearly learning to love the work of peace through strength:
The American people cried out for manly leadership. Our failing democracy – run by old men stuck in a past of archaic rules and norms – was just too slow to give the people what they needed. In Elonica, our President and The Leader who purchased him are providing us with clarity, certainty, and thus hope. In Elonica, everything is simple. Black and white. Winners and losers. The strong and the weak. Predator and prey.
I revel in our new strength. I do not miss gray at all.
He must become greater; I must become less.
JOHN 3:30
