Happy Constitution Day and Citizenship Day …
This has been a horrible week in the otherwise sanguine happy world that is Elonica. Charlie Kirk, hero of conservatives young and old, was shot to death in the radical leftist blue state of Utah. His murder was filmed and published in all its gore on phones and other screens across the nation. Fortunately, Kash Patel’s FBI strategy of leaking preliminary misinformation and announcing hopeful arrests on his way to dinner led to speedy apprehension of the shooter. Turns out, as we suspected, that a young white man raised in the Mormon church and attending a technical college, registered to vote as an independent, an apparent fan of Nick Fuentes and Fuentes’s groypers, had committed this heinous political assassination. There you have it. Evidence. Clearly, we need to stop this epidemic of trans murders. The leftists have unleashed mayhem in our peaceful, united country.
Believers and nonbelievers in Charlie Kirk agree that he professed strong opinions, often interpreting the Bible to arrive at them. I was raised in a different faith tradition, cautioned to love my neighbor, to be kind to strangers, to not judge lest I be judged, and to forgive others their trespasses. I disagreed with his ideas. Yet I do not begrudge Charlie Kirk his take on the Bible nor his belief that the First Amendment permitted him both his religion AND the right to espouse his views. Live and let live. But of course this is what made our old democracy so unwieldy – his views were not everyone’s views, and those who disagreed also had a right to express their beliefs. Charlie actually embraced this tension by offering to “debate” those who opposed him. He died, horribly, under a “Prove Me Wrong” sign.
Thank God Elonica is so superior to America. It makes no sense to allow the people of a nation to have multiple opinions. Clearly there is information and interpretation that is right and information/interpretation that is wrong. Why encourage that which is wrong? Why permit it at all? Now that we have a strong and brilliant president – supported by a meritocracy of the cleverest, wealthiest among us – we can be told with authority what is true and worthy of thinking. We can be sure of what is right. This is what the vast majority of people wanted when they voted for our Orange President in his landslide 1.5% victory in November. This is why the richest man in the world and his billionaire friends purchased a man like our president to lead us. This is why generational moral talent like JD Vance and Stephen Miller and Pete Hegseth are so important. If we are going to achieve the greatness of our Golden Age, then we have to learn to speak in one voice.
The First Amendment’s Freedom of Speech has never been absolute. How many times have we been reminded that a person can’t yell “Fire” in a crowded movie theater? The tricky part has always been figuring out what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. The murder of Charlie Kirk was unequivocally unacceptable – no question or doubt here. It was wrong even in our tired, failed democracy. Now, in Elonica, where our leaders tell us what is right and what is not, it’s even more wrong. Now that we have at last elected reliable people who can direct what we think and believe, we know which messengers of truth are worthy of deference. As our president and many of his minions have said, the people on the right are right and the people on the left need to be destroyed. When the right engages in violence, they are fighting disinformation and crime and violence itself. The people on the left, by contrast, are just radicalized scum looking to diminish Elonica. As our behind-the-scenes benefactor, the one who purchased our president for us, told righteous far right rioters in London this week as they were attacking the police, “Whether you choose violence or not, violence is coming to you. You either fight back or you die.”
We’re kind of new as a nation at having truth prescribed for us. Differences of opinion and interpretation were central to our founding. Since then we fought a Civil War, marched on Washington, and sat in on college campuses to express our conflicting views. Thankfully, the leaders of Elonica have learned from this sloppy history. As Attorney General Pam Bondi shared this week, the Department of Justice will now determine for us what speech is “free speech” and what speech is “hate speech.” Further, the government will appoint official messengers of truth and punish those who overstep. Here’s an example:
To honor Charlie Kirk’s passionate belief in free speech, our Elonican leaders have commited to control both the message and the messengers. They will vet the truth of all things and all people – statements, facts, history, data, opinions, legality. They will reward the faithful and punish the disloyal. The only path to unity – which the citizens of Elonica are crying out for – is conquest. I suspect this daring unity-implementation phase will be messy despite the brilliance of those ordained to lead us. But I am invested in its success. I can hardly wait not to have to think about what is right and what is wrong and what is free and what is hate and who speaks truth and who speaks heresy. It will be grand not to have to think at all as I eagerly await the trickle-down coming my way.
Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.
Matthew 7:15
