This is the third and final in what I’m calling my “Orange Series” inspired by my brilliant oldest nephew. Who could have predicted how marvelous our lives would become when – in an act of benevolence and patriotism – the richest man in the world bought us a president? In just under 300 days since his landslide 1.5% electoral victory, our orange president has proven his mettle. He’s like God – everywhere all the time, seen and unseen, all-knowing as he directs the universe of his making. Orange is hip. Orange is now. Orange is the new omnipresence.
I’ve written recently about our Orange Age and our human Agent Orange. Do you ever wonder how we got here? Orangeness did not fall from the sky or sprout from the ground. No. The current State of Orange has been carefully cultivated, nurtured, and algorithmed into existence.
Orange happens when red meets yellow. Red – politics, states, anger, peppers – is most impactful when hot. MAGA is where the hottest red people have found a home. MAGA people are really pissed off people. And they/we (like some deviant’s pronouns LOL) have every right to be pissed off. The damn world keeps changing. Thanks to the Radical Left Lunatics who lowered the bar for them, women got jobs outside of their homes. Illegals crossed our borders by the millions, taking all the good jobs and sucking our social resources. Filling our schools with kids who can’t even speak English and bringing crime to our country which had been crime free before they invaded us. There weren’t many decent jobs left after this brown invasion. And most of these remaining jobs went to trans people or others hired to satisfy DEI. Face it. Any self-respecting red blooded straight white American man whose parents were born here should be pissed off. Red hot furious.
Hell yeah, the red people were hot. Our numbers grew. By God we respect the kind of leadership we’re seeing now. Move fast and break things. Ask neither permission nor forgiveness. Use all the weapons in the arsenal to get us back to where most of us want to be. Remember how great it used to be? Back when moms stayed home and dads worked hard and families did stuff together? Back when high-paying jobs in factories and mines and construction were abundant and anyone who wanted one just had to apply? Back when women knew their place and immigrants knew their place and Blacks knew their place and there was no place for gay people and diversity worked as long as everyone accepted their station in life? Back before the damn libs started questioning everything – our history, our justice system, our schools. We had democracy down to a science. We had figured it out. The cream had already risen. We were happy. And then the libs had to go and stir the pot.
The shoe’s on the other foot now. We OWN the libs. We won a great big honkin’ 1.5% landslide election. With the help of the richest man in the world and some thoughtfully created House districts, we swept the presidency and the Senate and the House. Elonica is awash in red states full of people wearing red hats. We’ve got the red covered. In order to make Orange, we also need the yellow. Here it comes…
Of course a large part of the yellow is the sunshine we all feel now that Elonica is whiter and safer and richer. Our post-woke, warrior-ethos military under the command of storied soldier Pete Hegseth – deployed to our cities for the world to see – certainly screams “We are the best and strongest democracy!” I am happier now that groceries and gas and rent are cheaper where the Orange President lives, because that means they could get cheaper where I live, too. The history the President is bringing back to the Smithsonian and other museums is our real history. (And he should know this history, scholarly man that he is.) No more worrying ourselves with the lingering effects of centuries of slavery (which really wasn’t so bad) and Jim Crow (which ended DECADES ago.) Gosh, this is a happy time and we can be a happy people if we allow ourselves to be.
Another source of yellow adding to the Orange is the fine work of our Congress. As much as it pains them, they are setting their egos aside and acquiescing in all things to the will of our president and the billionaire who purchased him for us. Think about this sacrifice for Elonica. These are strong, principled men and women. Yet they are willing to capitulate to all of the president’s ideas. The Radical Left Lunatics don’t understand their strategy:
But those of us with our eyes open understand that the members of Congress know exactly what they are doing. If they cede their power to The Leaders now, their roles in Elonica’s future are guaranteed. They can weather a few nasty town halls and some bad press – being called “yellow cowards” by paid agitators. Their fortitude now will yield an even sunnier future. Bravo, strong patriots of the House and Senate.
Perpetuating the Orange is a healthy dose of yellow journalism – sensationalized and cadenced to keep the red burning hot. Facts matter less than feelings. We owe much gratitude to the president’s tech bros – especially the one who paid for his presidency – for the algorithms and data mining and unfake news that are helping Elonica to flourish.
Orange you glad you live in Elonica?
He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power.
hebrews 1:3
