Even though it’s far away in one of those countries in Europe somewhere, I couldn’t help but be delighted that Notre Dame is back. Even more joyful is the fact that The Leader had the good sense to send his cleverly-purchased president to represent Elonica. My heart swelled with pride knowing that his choice of a paragon of business and Christian values – duly elected by the citizens of Elonica – is already at the helm representing you and me. The Leader clearly knows class and style when he sees it. No more dithering, doddering statesmen for us.
We have no need to wait for the inauguration of a new president before tossing aside the sitting one. Fortunately, The Leader and his chosen mouthpiece had the foresight to keep in contact with the leaders of countries around the world throughout the last failed presidency. The rulers of Russia, Hungary, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Ukraine and countless other countries have been reminded since 2020 that Biden was a mere interloper, playing at being president until the real men could return. And return they have, just as the world cries out for an isolationist America. Whew. Imagine how messy things could get if we tried to support democracy and democracies around the world. No, what matters more is that we look inside Elonica, deporting the families that impede the Elonican Dream of fabulous wealth for the 1% who deserve it – resulting in lower grocery and housing prices for the rest of us.
Blessed now with the guidance of the dynamic duo of The Leader and his orangie bestie, we can at last embrace the capitalism that the liberal left radicals have all but destroyed. The world is our oyster. If a man is willing to work hard at a job requiring whatever training he is willing to get, in Elonica that man will prosper. Getting rid of the illegals will open all kinds of desirable jobs in agriculture, lawn maintenance, custodial arts, slaughterhouse cleaning, and the like. Once the illegals leave the residences they have commandeered, housing prices will plummet. When women return to their real destinies in homes rather than workplaces, the men who have been cast aside to make room for them in the workplace will rise again. Our unnatural experiment in diversity, equity, and inclusion will end. Once and for all.
Meantime the rest of the world eagerly awaits the opportunity to buy Elonican goods and to pay tariffs so that we buy their goods. This is a pleasant possibility, but an unnecessary one. We have more than enough of everything we need right here in Elonica. Once the tariffs are in place – and foolish regulations about workplace safety and workers’ rights and environmental impact are eliminated – companies that have moved to Mexico will want to move back to the US. Stuff that we currently import – coffee, cocoa beans to make chocolate, gems and precious metals, etc. – we can develop the technologies to produce here. This will provide even more jobs so that every man will be happily employed. If The Leader plays his cards right, no one will ever need to leave Elonica – or his state or his neighborhood – to achieve financial success and contentment.
We become (credit and apologies to Shakespeare):
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! I have unwittingly revealed that I did not attend school in Florida (“Don’t say gay. Don’t say slavery. Don’t say climate change. Don’t say abortion. Don’t say Shakespeare …”)
Getting more and more worried about JD …
The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever.
Psalm 37:29