Our first Christmas and Hanukkah in Elonica – season’s greetings to you all! Despite the economic misery caused by the last failed Leftist Radical President, more celebrations have been planned, more people have traveled by car and train and air, and more money has been spent than ever before. It’s a good thing the Elonican people sent such a strong mandate for change 52 days ago. Since that time, The Leader’s purchased president has managed to lower gas prices a bit, at least until this last holiday weekend when lots of folk were filling up. Eggs, milk, and Happy Meals cost more – but I’m confident The Leader’s experience in agriculture and the legislative process in general will soon remedy this. Of course the tariffs will immediately cure these costs as everything becomes Elonican-made, better, and less expensive.
I suspect The Leader had a few moments of pique last week when the President he paid good money for was slow to criticize the budget deal that Mike Johnson brokered with Democrats and the lesser Republicans. For a few painful hours The Leader was alone in his umbrage until his slower-moving mouthpiece caught on. Good news – the X platform is a potent driver of Elonican policy. Bad news – some people seemed to suggest for the first time that The Leader is running the show. It’s way too soon for that. In order for Elonica to achieve its promise, ordinary Elonicans have to believe that we are MAKING THINGS GREAT AGAIN, not doing something for the first time. It’s vital that people believe that The Leader is supporting a strong president who generates the best ideas. Elonica might not work if too many people suspect that the President is not really running things. I’m sure The Leader took our Orange Friend to the woodshed.
And the lesson in the woodshed must have stuck. The President, almost certainly at The Leader’s direction, let loose a torrent of ideas that moved the conversation immediately away from funding the budget and thus limited The Leader’s potential exposure as the driver of policy. Let’s buy Greenland. Let’s ignore a foolish international treaty and seize the Panama Canal. Let’s annex Canada. Let’s execute all the really bad people and write in our message celebrating the birth of Christ for them to “go to hell” With the public enthralled by these ideas and the greatness they could bring to Elonica, The Leader got a better budget deal in Congress, eliminating wasteful fluff like pay raises for members of Congress. And children’s cancer research.
I guess if the government pulls back at long last from everything it’s been wasting our money on, like health services and weather prediction and preserving the environment and supporting children in poverty, then charitable foundations set up by The Leader and his friends can continue to demonstrate how willing they are to donate money to the common good. I’m hoping that the contributions I send to each of my favorite charities will be better spent now that these organizations can’t rely on the government to pick up all the slack on the work they do.
Let’s work together to remind each other that this is the season of joy, peace, and light.
The people living in darkness have seen a great light; and for those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned
Matthew 4:16