Welcome to Elonica

America, Only Greater

Grift, Graft, Gruft

Do you remember repetitive syllables/words/phrases woven into stories you read or were read as a child? Like:

  • Fee-fi-fo-fum
  • Rikki-tikki-tavi
  • Chicka chicka boom boom
  • One fish two fish red fish blue fish
  • I think I can I think I can

Or those you learned later on to memorize history tidbits?

  • Tippecanoe and Tyler too
  • Liberty, Equality, Fraternity
  • Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived
  • In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue
  • Veni vidi vici

You’re in for a treat. Our transition from America to Elonica is changing not only our country but the whole world as well. It’s a Global Golden Age. Our President and the billionaires who purchased him for us have earned their own wee phrase to help us and those who follow understand and remember the significance of this era in history:

GRIFT

You might think that you know what “grift” is, and the picture you have might be a negative one. Here’s an AI definition that certainly suggests that grift is not a good thing:

A grift is a fraudulent scheme or petty swindle where someone obtains money or property through deceit, manipulation, or exploitation of trust. A person who commits this act is called a grifter.

It is true that before the election of 2024 and the inception of our Golden Age, grift was not good. Think about Hunter Biden, for example, whose talentless paintings sold for more than they were worth because of his father’s position. Or President Biden himself, who grifted his way into this fabulous, over-the-top house in Rehoboth Beach, DE:

When Radical Leftists were complicit in Biden crime family grift, grift was wrong. The Bidens escaped unscathed because the weaponized Department of Justice was too busy trying to interfere in the election of our savior, Dr. President Jesus.

In Elonica, grift no longer carries negative overtones: it is an essential part of the Golden Age magic. Our trickle-down economy works only when the very best of us can amass fortunes vast enough to share. Our nation’s wealth is best held in the hands of the billionaires who have proven that they understand money. When this handful of patriots has reached a personal wealth tipping point, they will share their bounty with the rest of us. 

So in Elonica it is the responsibility of our President and the billionaires who fund/direct him to bend, flex, and ignore rules that impede their accumulation of wealth. The best way to make scads of money is to limit personal risk, using tax revenue provided by those at the lower end of the income scale to accrue greater gains. This capital, acquired through government grants and no-bid contracts, is augmented by a tax code that benefits those at the top and insider information that makes investing more lucrative. Toss in other citizen-funded inputs like water and electricity – AI essentials – and we have created a perfect cocktail for never-before-seen wealth. Grift should not be avoided. It should be sought and embraced by those who deserve it.

I admire the simplicity of this overt plan to transfer the nation’s wealth to a handful of trusted tycoons. Grift is good. Graft can help it stay.

GRAFT

Graft is vital to Elonica. As AI tells us:

Graft generally refers to the act of joining or inserting one thing into another so they grow or fuse together. Its meaning changes depending on the context.

The context for Elonican graft is our Constitution, specifically the fusing together of the three branches of government. Before the election of 2024, the Congress (Article 1), Executive (Article II) and courts (Article III) functioned as co-equal branches of government, working in sync at different tasks to provide leadership to our nation. This was noble and democratic but OMG was it inefficient. The government spent all its time debating and compromising and chasing rabbits down holes. Problems went unsolved. Shit didn’t get done. We stopped being the hottest country in the world.

In Elonica, we have grafted the three branches of government into one cohesive organism. The Unitary Executive is the only entity empowered to generate ideas for Elonica. Congress is then charged with championing these ideas and promoting them among the people. The courts, if called upon, give them the stamp of approval. Simple, efficient, effective. No tension. No need for debate. This new system is possible because, for the first time in our 250-year history, we have a President who is capable of articulating all ideas needed to better the lives of the Elonican people. (As he told us in 2016, he alone can fix us.) Thank God the richest man in the world who purchased him for us saw his promise.

Think of how well graft is working. In just 16 months, we’ve been able to attack rogue nations, levy reciprocal tariffs, ensure the expanded wealth of the wealthiest, rid our streets of felonious brown people, eradicate disease, and reinstitute Jim Crow in the south. All without worrying about whether the public or the members of Congress who represent them support these actions. The Radical Leftists are on the run. America is respected again – the hottest country in the world.

Constitutional graft supports Elonican grift. Genius! Now for the piece de resistance: gruft.

GRUFT

We’re gonna need a little AI help to introduce gruft:

Gruft primarily translates from German to English as a burial vault, tomb, or crypt. It typically refers to an underground burial chamber, often designed to hold the remains of multiple members of a family or an exclusive group.

Are you catching on? All of those ballroom naysayers, those libs resisting our vision of Elonican permanence, have not considered the merits of gruft.

What good does it do to take advantage of a generational leader like our President to only temporarily institute grift and graft? Without them there is no Golden Age, no trickle down, no hottest country status. No, we need to extend the benefits of these innovations as far into the future as possible. We need a gruft, a vault under a Golden Ballroom that can house our leaders securely for the long haul. We need a bunker, designed for the age of drone warfare, that can withstand the attacks of all enemies, foreign and domestic. We need a place for our leaders to hide when the old Constitution would remove them in 2028. We need them to govern us for as long as possible from the safety of their gruft. 

Eventually, we shall bury them there in their gruft in what will doubtless become an international shrine to their greatness. This is why we need the grandest, most golden ballroom in the world. When the Golden Ballroom becomes Elonica’s most important monument, inspiring pilgrimages of millions of people from across the world, we’re going to need a fabulous building worthy of the people entombed in the gruft beneath it. To quote Field of Dreams, “If we build it, they will come. They will most definitely come.” The gruft ballroom is simply another example of our leaders’ extraordinary forward thinking.

Grift-Graft-Gruft. Flows off the tongue, no? Try it to the tune of “Three Blind Mice”:

Grift, graft, gruft.

Grift, graft, gruft.

See how they win.

See how they win.

They’re taking our money so they can be rich

Without trickle down, our life’s been a bitch

How can we make sure this isn’t a glitch?

With grift, graft, gruft.

Grift, graft, gruft.

For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily.

COLOSSIANS 2:9