We’re learning more each day about internal enemies of the state – terrible, wretched civil servants who have wormed their way into our lives. Thankfully The Leader is yanking them out of our government like abcessed teeth. These are not people like us – solid, moral, fair-minded Elonicans – no, they are lazy occupants of The Swamp who devour the resources that should be spent on tax breaks for billionaires. These tax breaks at the top are essential to ensure the trickle down that we deserve. Elonica’s ceremonial president is providing cover for this exorcism, which is why The Leader bought him in the first place. The dismantling of our failed democracy is proceeding according to plan.
I can’t say enough about the harm these bureaucrats could do should we allow them to remain in their jobs. Park Rangers indoctrinating young people to value public lands for their beauty and not for their oil. Educators encouraging exploration of African or Native American history in violation of the DEI ban. IRS agents having the audacity and resources to audit the wealthy whom we already know would never pay less than their fair share of taxes. Researchers determining how to stop the bird flu – when China will just manufacture another health disaster to discredit the Orange President. Researchers attacking cancer and Alzheimer’s before Robert Kennedy has the chance to cure these diseases much more cheaply on his respite ranches. Despite what you might be hearing about the randomness and cruelty of the civil service job cuts, each and every one has been well thought out. The Leader’s chainsaw demonstration at CPAC should assure us all of that.
The reason we must cast out these bureaucratic bloodsuckers is that they don’t really fit into the guiding principle of Elonica. In order for us to be Great Again we have to adopt a familiar old standard. It’s The Gold Standard, back in a new iteration. The new Gold Standard brilliantly establishes two classes of Elonican citizens: those who have the gold – The Leader and his friends – and the rest of us who support those who have the gold. Think how this simplifies our thinking. There is but one definition of success. There is but one source of truth and reality. There is but one goal worth attaining. All of that pre-Elonican fuzziness about playing by the rules or wanting to do good in the world fades away. Actually, there’s no need at all for trials of conscience – if an act benefits The Golden, then it is a righteous act. When in doubt, just trust The Leader and his purchased mouthpiece. Make them your models.
JD provides a great example of this. He grew up poor in and around Appalachia and then wrote a book about the lack of ambition of the people there and his escape to Yale and venture capitalism. He befriended a billionaire who bought him a Senate seat – and now both their places among The Golden are assured. Contrast his ascension to the life of another Appalachian. Dolly Parton also grew up poor and went on to make scads of money. Unlike JD, she returned to Tennessee and started a business which employs the very aimless people JD derided in his book. Wait, there’s more – when Dolly recognized that literacy is key to success she started a charitable foundation which provides books to millions of children (since 1995, 270,748,534 books to 3,197,250 needy kids). In Elonica, we don’t have to wonder if such a journey is worthwhile. It fails on multiple counts: (1) Dolly gets nothing tangible for the money she spends on literacy, which makes it fraud, waste, and abuse, (2) she is not interested in limiting the benefits of her wealth to those who make her wealthier, and (3) she is childless which means that she never fulfilled her primary purpose as a woman in Elonica.
In Elonica, the Gold Standard reminds us that before we achieved our current state of emerging Greatness, democracy had run its course. The originalists have determined that democracy was not in fact a vibrant manifestation of self-governance that reinvented and strengthened itself continually, but rather a done deal in which the cream had already risen. Today the Gold Standard takes that cream and rewards it, allowing The Golden to cement their standing at the top of the order. Our sole civic duty as Elonicans is to give The Leader and his friends what they need to flourish. You see, civil service bureaucrats choose to judge themselves by an outdated standard. They foolishly believe that their oath to uphold the Constitution means that they are supposed to serve the Elonican people, all of them, and not just The Golden. This cannot stand. They have to go. They’re in the way.
This part could get tricky. Some of these dangerous bureaucrats are your friends, your family, and/or your neighbors. They camouflage themselves in many neighborhoods in many parts of the country. You might know them from church or the grocery store or your kid’s homeroom or your book club or your bowling league. You might feel sorry for them. You might believe that the one you know or are related to is not evil like the others who infiltrated our government and drove our nation to ruin. Don’t give in. Stand firm. Do not question what The Leader is doing. Shun the bureaucrats. Through the dark days, remember that, like Shakespeare’s Brutus, our Leader is an honorable man. Let’s do our part to support him by standing strong against the civil servants: the friends, neighbors, and countrymen who are denying us our Greatness. Unwavering support is one of our first tests of Elonican citizenship. Let’s be strong together.
Whew. 37 days in office, 124 Executive Actions. See them all on the Executive Edicts page. Real leadership is poetry.
And the Cabinet – our much awaited model of meritocracy – is already accomplishing great things. First big meeting today! Check out the Cabinet Space page for updates.
No, I tell you, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.
Luke 13:3
