I’m certain I wasn’t alone in losing sleep over the latest presidential assassination attempt. A leftist radical from California, inspired by the vicious unkind irresponsible rhetoric of the Democrats, raced past a Secret Service checkpoint and nearly made it down a hallway one floor away from the White House Correspondents Dinner. Always respectful of and to the press, our vaunted President and most of his Cabinet and friends were there to show their unshakable commitment to the First Amendment. It was harrowing. Look at their pained reactions once they had been taken (or in the President’s case frog-jumped) to safety.
If we are to achieve Our Golden Age, we must protect our godly President and his apostles. If he were a lesser leader, we could simply enhance security wherever he deigns to walk among us – at his golf courses, at fundraisers, at dinners with press such as the White House press dinner. But his divinity requires more. What we really need is an impenetrable golden ballroom with a whopper bunker beneath it. In it he and his devotees can safely conduct matters of state throughout and, if we’re lucky, beyond his term of office. Thankfully our President is a real estate guy with the kinds of connections that can make this ballroom a reality.
Surely Providence itself has sent us a leader to inspire a Golden Age in his Golden Years. He and his Republican friends remind us regularly of our Golden History before the civil rights movement and globalization and “Me, too” threatened our pastoral exceptionalism. We were happier when we knew who had the wisdom and preordained power to lead us and to tell us what our roles should be. In a way we are simply reclaiming our greatness by turning back the clock.
But Our Golden Age is also about innovation and a future of untold riches. Our President’s hand is guided not only by God, but also by the wealthy men who purchased his office for him. In our past, the golden rule we erroneously taught our children was “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Modern times call for a revision of this rule. Our leaders advocate this one: “He who has the gold rules” and its inverse “He who rules should have the gold” and their corollary “The ends justify the means.”
Not everyone appreciates this new path to glory. The radical Democrat socialists and communists argue stupidly that wealth should be distributed among those who earn it and not concentrated where it belongs at the top of the pecking order. These idiots can’t acknowledge how close we are to Ronald Reagan’s trickle down – if the richest can get just a little richer, they will at last have enough to share with the rest of us. Others believe that displays of wealth – of gold – are somehow unAmerican. They fail to understand that the world will only respect us as a democracy when we have the best Ballroom and the tallest, most elaborate Victory Arch. I hope that our Department of Justice, no longer distracted by lawfare, jumps all over traitors producing this garbage:
Through all the distractions – “No Kings”, Epstein, temporary inflated gas prices – we must not lose sight of our good fortune. The richest man in the world bought us the greatest President – the one man who can save us from the broken path we were traveling toward some misguided “more perfect union.” He bought us the one man capable of catching the cosmic Golden Snitch. All that glitters IS, and should be, gold. Elonica is rising.
In the words of Kid Rock briefing our brave soldiers at the Pentagon: Oorah!
By your wisdom and your understanding you have made wealth for yourself, and have gathered gold and silver into your treasuries”
EZEKIEL 28:4
