Snug As a Bug – Welcome to Elonica

In its prime, America was a great country. Men worked and women raised families. We grew or manufactured everything we needed. We took care of our neighbors. Think Andy Griffith and Little House on the Prairie and The Waltons and Happy Days and the Cosby Show. Yes, in time immemorial, America was a land of unbounded possibility enhanced by the greatness of its people. Others feared us, respected us, and aspired to be us. We were the envy of the world. FDR elevated our “Four Freedoms” in a presidential speech on January 6, 1941; Norman Rockwell turned them into Saturday Evening Post covers in 1943:

Somewhere in the midst of utopia we lost our way. It was the libs. Fantasizing that America did not work for everyone, the libs pushed for special rights (voting, marriage, military service, employment) for everyone but white males. They created a DEI nightmare. They took a stable, just, happy nation and turned it into a place of distrust and anger. Then, when Biden opened our borders to gangs of unsavory illegals, we got crime. So much crime that our 1.5 guns per person were not enough to protect us.

Christian nationalists prayed. Providence intervened. In November 2024, God sent us two special men to Make Us Great Again. Both are Christ-like in their histories, demeanor, and speech. Both have lived lives devoted to the well-being of others, especially to the least among us. Being such strong and good men, they sometimes squabble – as the Apostles did – over the best way to serve their fellow men. We are experiencing such a bump in the road now. When all is said and done, however, the richest man in the world and the president he purchased out of love for us have brought us back to sanity and, more importantly, to safety.

I go to bed at night as snug as a bug in a rug because of the efforts of the Director of Elonica, Inc. and the orange CEO whose election he secured. In their mere six months in power, they have:

Rounded up immigrants of all stripes, all ages, all manner of arriving here, at all stages of the immigration process. ICE acts with clarity and purpose: if you weren’t born here of parents born here, then you are a criminal. Ba-bye!

Deployed the Marines to LA just in case taking over the California National Guard was not enough. Our streets sure feel safer filled with heavily armed soldiers rounding up non-Elonicans at Home Depot.

Pardoned thousands of individuals who had been falsely prosecuted and imprisoned back when the Department of Justice was weaponized. I know that I am safer with these once-persecuted patriots back on the street.

Driven the woke right out of all ranks of our military. We are proving our new prowess every day by limiting the numbers of aircraft that crash into commercial planes or fall into the sea from our ships. Our bombing missions in Yemen almost succeeded in re-opening the Panama Canal to commercial traffic. And we are planning a parade better than the ones they have in Moscow and North Korea!

Issued guidance to emergency rooms not to provide abortions if the life of the mother is in danger. In such fraught moments, women and their doctors would rush to end the life of an Elonican fetus to save that of the mother. So hasty, when there is every possibility that we can save the baby, whose chances of being male are twice that of its mom. Elonica needs more men to manage families and other affairs of state.

Eliminated funding for science – research and vaccinations and the like – that were making us less healthy. Between Bobby Kennedy, the internet, social media, and AI, we already have what we need to live longer, healthier, happier lives. Just look at the groundbreaking MAHA “To Make Our Children Healthy Again” report.

Issued travel bans to protect us from radicalism like that of the Egyptian national who firebombed Jewish people in Boulder. Although Egypt is not one of the banned countries, people from other countries can no longer find their way here.

Purged dangerous bureaucrats from the FBI, the National Weather Service, FEMA, USAID, and other failing agencies. Elonica is safer when everyone remembers who they work for and follows orders without question.

Got the go-ahead from a forward-looking Supreme Court to have the young DOGE bros gather all available government data on all Elonican citizens into one database. From there, our leaders will know enough about each of us to create a truly safe society.

If you’ve been reading Elonica from the beginning, you know that I’ve come slowly and cautiously to my full-throated support of Elonican improvements. I think I was clinging to nostalgic, rose-colored memories of a time when privacy mattered, when diversity was assumed and often celebrated, when folk could share their different opinions without fear of repercussion. But, boy, our democracy was messy. Too many points of view. Too many choices. Too much conflict. Now that I’m living it, I’m loving the simple efficiency of Elonica. The Leader and his purchased president know what’s best for us.

I can sleep safely. We can all sleep safely.

Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe.
proverbs 2:11