You might recall that I wasn’t an early enthusiastic supporter of Elonica. One of the things that brought me on board was our Unitary Executive’s unwavering emphasis on peace. Everything he’s done (bombing 7 nations with Ecuador on deck, refitting ICE into a paramilitary unit, renaming the Department of War, blowing small boats out of the water, grabbing Maduro from Venezuela, and now – at long last – killing the leaders of Iran in a protracted attack) has eliminated any doubts. This man is the genuine article, fully deserving of the first ever FIFA Peace Award. He lives peace. He exudes peace. He is Da Peace Bomb.
For those struggling to accept that aggression and peace are actually the same thing, it might be helpful to explore Elonica’s definition of peace. Remember that when we voted in an epic 1.5% landslide victory to abandon a failing America for our Golden Age in Elonica, we voted to revisit all of the tenets that underpinned our 250-year existence. For example, we once believed in three co-equal branches of government, checking and balancing each other to ensure that they worked in the people’s interest. Silly wabbit. No wonder we never got anything done. We used to believe that Article I of the Constitution granted important powers like levying taxes, allocating spending, and declaring war to Congress. But Elonica has taught us that Congress never really wanted these powers – the country runs much more smoothly now that Congress has handed all authority to a Unitary Executive.
The preamble to our Constitution includes the goal “promote the general welfare.” Sadly, those on the Radical Left interpreted this to mean “Put everyone who doesn’t want to work on welfare.” Our precious tax dollars flowed to illegals, unwed mothers, innercity gangbangers and other brown and black people who took advantage of us. Stupid. Inefficient. Unsustainable. We needed a successful as-seen-on-TV businessman to bring us back from the brink. The Lord heard our prayers and commanded the richest man in the world (one of His modern apostles) to buy us a president. Voila! This exalted Man of Peace recognized that we could never be happy as a people – never achieve our Golden Age – if we did not divert the funds that supported the weak among us to support the strong among us. To achieve peace we need warfighters, both in our armed forces and in our national elite police forces — ICE and the border patrol.
In Elonica, peace is the absence of conflict. Where there is peace there is no debate, no dissent, no diversity. Peace means a return to happier times, when our great nation understood and codified at birth every citizen’s place in society. To achieve greatness, we cannot continue on the Radical Left’s evil path of inclusion and equity. We must move back in time to our gilded age of national pride in an anointed few destined by God to govern. Under this President’s leadership, we are returning to the glory days of coal and oil, when those who deserved fortunes earned them with the labor and support of the rest of us. Today’s robber baron aristocracy controls the technology that is the centerpiece of our lives. Think of it – the age of fossil fuels enhanced by AI and algorithms. Our Golden Age in a nutshell.
If we want to achieve peace, it’s best to eliminate conflict before it begins. Hence the need to bomb weaker countries before they become stronger, especially those who can add to our oil supply. Hence the need to round up all the brown people, not just those who wandered in illegally, lest they weaken our bloodline and otherwise threaten the social order. Hence the need to avoid elections in 2026 and beyond, lest the Radical Left Liberals succeed in cheating again and disrupting our progress. Elonican peace rests on the continued benevolent leadership of those who have proven and continue to prove their worth through personal enrichment. Rocking the boat threatens this peace.
When Elonica attacks those who would threaten our Golden Age, we are in fact promoting peace. Strategic aggression is the Elonican interpretation of “turn the other cheek” and “the meek shall inherit the earth.” You see, when our Unitary Executive unleashes our warfighters to eliminate conflict on our behalf, we are free to meekly turn the other cheek. He is doing the hard work of making peace, leaving us to bask in the singular joy of quietly getting on with our lives.
Trust him. And go in peace.
I have said these things to you, that in time you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
JOHN 16:33
